Don't be scared, I've got you
by planet p
Summary: AU; Miss Parker is upset after it falls on her to retrieve one of Jarod's clues at a shopping plaza.


**Don't be scared, I've got you** by planet p

**Disclaimer** I don't own _the Pretender_ or any of its characters.

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**So, yeah, this is too weird… but let's just say it's humour.**

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Of course, she didn't get it. He knew she was thinking he'd gone mad. How could she get it? He was having one of his moments. It was just… a little bit funny.

So he'd laughed. And now it was kind of scary, but still funny, funny, funny! Come on it was funny!

There was this person, okay, that he looked like… oh, well, rather _who_ he looked like (she _had_ to know how funny it was!) and so, this person who he looked like had practically never had anyone just come up to him and start talking to him because they thought he was soooo cute, which, annoyingly enough, was totally what people did to him all the time.

It was soooo funny!

Still, he did sound a little bit mad, he conceded. And he really did need to stop laughing. It wasn't just his sister, or the woman, anymore. Now it was Sydney. He had on this, _Oh, dear, we have a mad one in company_ look, which was…

Okay, so it wasn't that funny. But he was having a moment. So, in that moment, a lot of stuff was funny. He supposed maybe he needed to go outside, get some air, or something.

It wasn't even that funny when he thought about it properly. He was sure the person he looked like wouldn't have minded at all if someone – someone who was a woman, say – had come over to talk to him because she'd thought he was cute.

He wanted to tell himself to cut it out, or something, but then he was outside and it was a bit better… arguably, it was, in any case, but now he just felt kind of bad for freaking the woman out. Plus, he conceded, it so wasn't his style, or MO, or whatever. His sister was going to think there really was something up with him, which, he didn't need to remind himself, was totally bad for business.

He stared at the woman who'd just walked over and sat down beside him on the bench.

"_I totally know how you feel_," she told him in Japanese. He supposed she did.

He leant over and hugged her. See! He was okay, he was back to his old self! He was glad to see her looking so well, but, he looked, and no twin sister.

"_I felt like doing a bit of shopping_," the woman confessed, "_I needed to get away from the motel, and Yuriko and Mal. Plus, I realised that I so need a boyfriend. Well, you know, it's okay to hug you, but I want someone else to hug, too, every once in a while._"

"Yeah."

She crossed her arms. "This is so depressing."

He turned to look behind him quickly and stood up. "I've got to go. I hope we'll see each other again soon, I really do."

"You're running off?"

"That's my… well, kinda my boss."

"And she's gonna go off at you for talking to an old friend?"

"I think she thinks you're dead."

Her eyes widened. "_So she may just go off. Yes, you should go. Goodbye, Bobby._"

"_Goodbye, Yumiko._"

Looking ticked off, Miss Parker came storming over and stalked off past him, not even sparing a glance to the woman he'd been talking with a moment ago. Because of him, and his lunacy, she'd had to collect Jarod's stupid clue from the way-too-creepy-for-the-plaza florist! It was like Jarod and he were in this together, to make her life crappy!

"I thought she was nice," Broots said, from behind her, failing, somehow, to catch Sydney's glance.

Broots was only saying that because she'd bothered to look at him for longer than five seconds, which, according to Broots, wasn't actually all that common an experience.

Miss Parker certainly wasn't the one thinking she was nice – she'd just tried to chat her up! That sort of thing just wasn't Miss Parker's favourite thing. (Not to mention, right after she'd tried to chat her _brother_ up and he'd somehow thought it was funny! Even though, it wasn't remotely funny, it was just… kinky ew! Well, that was what Miss Parker had said, "Two words, Syd: kinky, ew!"

People did not just try to make play for her brother, and then, failing on that, decide that she was second best. For a frigging start, she wasn't second best: She _was_ the best! Her creep brother could go second best, or maybe she'd _donate_ that title to Cox! Even Cox had to be better than her creepy brother, whose latest girlfriend (possibly deceased) had Bedazzled his iPhone! So that was the running monologue behind her two least favourite words of the day.)

Sydney was hoping Jarod's clue would take them to a coffee shop.

On her way past, Miss Parker told the Asian woman, "Watch out for the florist at 75B!"

Sydney shot her a look. She could be so embarrassing when she wanted to be!

Back at the car, she snapped, "You should have come! I could have used you!"

"What if-"

"Ew! What if Jarod popped out of thin air and left me a creepy little message to meet him at some creepy, little café and, in a fit of creepiness, I totally didn't tell you guys, and we hooked up! Or something! Like – never! What is wrong with you Sweepers? Are you just all – daft? I AM A RESPECTABLE WOMAN, I WAS RAISED IN A RESPECTABLE, COMPLETELY PSYCHOTIC AND LOVING ENVIRONMENT: I JUST DON'T HOOK UP WITH ANYONE – _ANYONE_, DO YOU HEAR ME? – IN SOME CRAPPY, LITTLE CAFÉ!"

"I don't know, it sounds kinda cosy," the Sweeper replied.

Miss Parker stormed away from the car, just walked off.

Sydney watched her walk away. He supposed it was a good thing, she'd probably have clobbered the Sweeper one if she'd stayed. He glanced at Lyle. It was, of course, all his fault. If he hadn't left, it would have all been fine.

"The whole world's my fault, Sydney," Lyle told him. "It totally is!" He laughed. "You people have no sense of humour."

"I have a perfectly good sense of humour, thank you," Sydney replied.

"That's debateable!"

Sydney glared at him.

Okay, so Sydney didn't get it, and he was being unfair. Of course, his sister had inherited her sense of humour from someone else, arguably, she hadn't inherited it from anyone, exactly, other people's senses of humour had just rubbed off on her – badly. He couldn't say he'd done much better. Half of the time, he was mad. So, no, not much better.

He supposed he should apologise to his sister; he'd just say it was the coffee or something. That sounded like a plan.

He walked off after her. She had definitely inherited the people-who-like-people-like-them-AKA-like-people-of-the-same-gender-frighten-me thing from Sydney, though. He'd always been suitably chilly towards anyone who'd suggested that Jacob hadn't been into women so much, and especially towards some certain people who'd decided that there was a very, very good reason that Raines had become Med Space Director after Jacob's accident.

At least Raines had the decency to find it amusing – considering who'd been blamed by Sydney for instigating the 'accident', it just wasn't a very nice thought that he would have hurt Jacob like that when he'd had feelings for him. It wasn't really romantic, and everyone knew he was just so the romantic type. Uh-hum, well, that was how the stories went. (Considering he was such a womaniser, it was strange that Sydney had never once seen him out on the town with another woman. So maybe he was just frugal! So cheap! The women were right to be wary of someone who was so frugal! They were just no good!)

"Sis."

"Don't even talk to me, creep!" Miss Parker hissed.

"She didn't even touch you."

"You don't know that: so don't you even fucking speak!"

"You don't even know that's what she meant."

"Oh, so she just meant, Hey, why don't we join knitting club together on Saturday afternoons, pretty eyes?" Miss Parker scoffed.

"Maybe, yeah."

"Maybe, _no_, lunatic!"

"You do have nice eyes."

"Shut up!"

"We've practically got the same eyes, Sis. I can't very well say you don't have nice eyes, that'd just sound really bad. And I like my eyes, kind of… they remind me of you."

"Did I, or did I _not_, tell you to SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP, LOSER!"

"More or less, minus the swearing, I guess."

"THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING?"

"Why not? What else am I supposed to do? Telepathy?"

She turned around swiftly and glared at him, then, when she supposed what he was staring at was her eyes, she shoved past him and stalked back to the car.

"Well, minus the really angry looking thing, I'm telling you, Sis, we do have really similar looking eyes. We could totally almost be siblings, or whatever."

"Does 'or whatever' mean me with a gun, shooting you?"

"I don't think so…"

"Then I don't want to know!" she snapped.

"How much coffee have you had today, anyway, Sis?"

"NOT ENOUGH!"

"I see."

She stopped at the car and glared at the Sweeper. "I drive!" she growled, and grabbed the keys from him.

He looked at Lyle.

"And you're looking at me why?"

"You-"

"Yeah because – never! I don't own her… unfortunately. She doesn't let me boss her around, or tell her when or when not she can drive. Or when she can't drive, should I amend. Don't look at me like that!"

"You're-"

"Which means exactly _nada_ in her opinion!"

"Are either of you going to let me finish one whole sentence today?" the Sweeper asked, frustrated.

"You just did, now shut up!"

"Jeez, it's obvious you're related: You both have the same rotten attitude toward other people!"

"Thank you, we do try!"

The Sweeper shook his head and glanced at Sydney. He supposed that meant they were going. He glanced at Broots, who was typing away on his laptop computer.

"We're going."

"Thanks."

He nodded. It was no problem, when people weren't yelling at him; it was his job, after all.

* * *

Miss Parker opened her eyes and sat up in bed. Vaguely, she made out a shape in the dark and hurled her pillow at it. "Piss off, Jarod!"

"What did I do?" Jarod asked.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Thanks," she growled.

She swore, if she could see him, he would have on the most confused look. "Thanks?"

"You have no idea. It's just not funny. I try to get to sleep and, when I _do_, all I end up doing is wishing I hadn't."

"Were you having a bad dream?" Jarod asked, sounding concerned.

"No. It wasn't… like that. It wasn't a nightmare. It was just a complete horror!"

"But it wasn't a bad dream?"

She laughed. "Well, that depends on your definition, I guess. If you classify preferring that Cox were my brother over the creep I got handed – then, _yes_, by God, yes, it was a bad fucking dream!"

"I guess it was, after all," Jarod replied.

She nodded. "You have no earthly idea!"

"Is a hug okay then?"

She got up out of bed and walked over to him. "Find me my pillow and then I'll think about it," she told him, and put her arms around him in a hug.

* * *

She hiccuped. "Oh my God, maybe I _did_ get it wrong! Your sister was so hitting on my brother in my dream!"

Jarod put his hands on her arms and looked at her seriously. "Can we just… make it a rule that we don't share information when we have really… weird dreams like that?"

"Chicken!" she laughed, and hugged him again. "Don't be scared, I've got you."


End file.
